Why The Holidays Aren’t So Merry
“Hallelujah! Holy Sh*t! Where’s the Tylenol?” — Clark Griswold
Every year the holidays sneak up all too quickly and we find ourselves extra stressed, overworked, exhausted, broke…ugh! It isn’t enough that you now have to make time to cook a Thanksgiving meal (or a dish), but perhaps the in-laws are arriving so the house better be extra clean, or the travel arrangements set, or OH MY GOSH, did I remember to set up the dog-sitter??
Whether you’re single, married, a parent, a workaholic, or an introvert, the holidays are downright next level angst for most. The subtle stress creeps in and before you know it you’re more irritable, tired or emotional. It happens and there are reasons why. Don’t worry, you’re not crazy!
WHY do the holidays affect our mental health?
A 2018 study by Omeprazole (a heartburn medication) found that the holidays stress out 88% of Americans! Now it’s 2020 (add Covid, quarantine, isolation) and you’ve got yourself the perfect holiday nightmare. Another survey conducted by Think Finance last month reported 45% of people living in the United States would choose to skip out on the holidays, rather than deal with the stress of it all.
“I need some peace and quiet…or whatever it is people go away for.” — The Holiday
The reasons are aplenty for why “the most wonderful time of the year” is not so great. I’ve listed the top 5 here but it doesn’t stop there. Scroll to the bottom of this article for a few professional resources to really help with the holiday blues.
Ready to proceed? Take a deep breath and gently remind yourself that this is normal & I’ll offer a few ways to get through it — trust me, you’ve got this!
“I hate the radio this time of year because they play ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ like, every other song. And that’s just not enough.” — Bridger Winegar
Reason #1 The days are shorter and depending on where you live, colder — I don’t know about you but when Daylight Savings Time ends I immediately feel it. That farewell to summer, bikinis, warm weather and incredible sunsets. Yep, winter is coming (for all my GOT fans, you get it).
Reason #2 More on our plates (literally and figuratively). Starting as early as Halloween the sugary sweets come around, then Thanksgiving brings all the dishes we hardly ever eat during the rest of the year, plus more alcohol (if you’re like me I need plenty of that to be around my family for even a short period of time). Also, our schedules get more loaded — cooking for Thanksgiving, hosting family, traveling, holiday cards, all these things on top of our already busy daily routines. Like when do I have time to work out? I guess I’ll put that off until the New Year (see how easy that is?!).
Reason #3 Family and social gatherings. Even if you are an extrovert extraordinaire this is still a lot because on top of your stress from the season, now you’re mixing everyone else’s anxious energies and it turns into a Divine disaster! Uncle Lou wants to rant about the recent election, Grandma Bettie wants to know all about your life but forgot her hearing aids, Aunt Martha had another red wine spill…Oy vey!! It’s about this time I find a bathroom to lock myself in for 20 minutes (do what you’ve gotta do, right?!)
Reason #4 On the contrary, being lonely. This is a big one! You see on the Gram everyone having a “gay old time” and you’re home alone. This outright bites and it’s ok to feel it. Most important here is to EMBRACE it! Now you have all that free time you’ve been waiting for to self-care (whatever that looks like to you): watch a movie, do a facemask, try a new recipe, play video games, sleep!
Reason #5 Money, money, money. There is goes! Holy smokes travel is expensive, groceries, gifts, maybe a new outfit. Where does it end?? I don’t care how thick your wallet is, everyone feels this one during the holidays. Remember that it doesn’t have to be this way. Really! Try making a playlist for a friend on Spotify, or send a sweet video text to your family across the country, give the gift of time! Don’t feel pressure to buy buy buy (bye bye)!
“I didn’t come here to make an impression on anybody, I just came here to blow every last cent I had.” — Last Holiday
The CDC is on it (2020 prep) and created a little helpful “get through the holidays” guide. Feel free to reference it here as well as this article from the American Phycological Association on “Making the most of the holiday season”.
Worst case scenario, we can always heed the advice of The Grinch:
“4:00, wallow in self-pity. 4:30, stare into the abyss. 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no one. 5:30, jazzercize; 6:30, dinner with me. I can’t cancel that again. 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing. I’m booked. Of course, if I bump the loathing to 9, I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness.”
